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Pregnant?

And you don't want anybody
to find out?

I could not expect the father of the child to raise a baby in his situation. He was unemployed and receiving benefits. Our relationship was constantly off and on. Bringing up a third child, bearing the whole responsibility of giving the child a loving home, possibly without a partner? I could not see myself doing that. That is why I kept my pregnancy a secret.

I could not decide one way or the other. What did I have to offer the child in my situation? Adoption looked like the only way out. But doesn't a child belong to its mother? I heavily criticized myself. I only visited a doctor shortly before the birth, and then went to an advice centre. I was scared. But the female counsellor understood that I did not see any future for me and my daughter. We considered the option of temporarily handing her over to a foster family – until my situation became more stable. But that would have been even more of a burden for her and me. With a heavy heart, I stuck to my original decision. I met the adoptive parents shortly afterwards. We chose a name together: Lea. I gave Lea over to the adoptive parents one day after the birth. The female counsellor was on hand to take care of the bureaucratic issues.

I could sense that this was the right decision. Lea would be fine there in a stable environment. I think about her often. I collect photos and letters from the adoptive mother at the adoption centre once a year. That is how I found out that she is a happy child who laughs a lot. I have written down my story for her in case one day she wants to find out where she comes from.

I could not expect the father of the child to raise a baby in his situation. He was unemployed and receiving benefits. Our relationship was constantly off and on. Bringing up a third child, bearing the whole responsibility of giving the child a loving home, possibly without a partner? I could not see myself doing that. That is why I kept my pregnancy a secret.

I could not decide one way or the other. What did I have to offer the child in my situation? Adoption looked like the only way out. But doesn't a child belong to its mother? I heavily criticized myself. I only visited a doctor shortly before the birth, and then went to an advice centre. I was scared. But the female counsellor understood that I did not see any future for me and my daughter. We considered the option of temporarily handing her over to a foster family – until my situation became more stable. But that would have been even more of a burden for her and me. With a heavy heart, I stuck to my original decision. I met the adoptive parents shortly afterwards. We chose a name together: Lea. I gave Lea over to the adoptive parents one day after the birth. The female counsellor was on hand to take care of the bureaucratic issues.

I could sense that this was the right decision. Lea would be fine there in a stable environment. I think about her often. I collect photos and letters from the adoptive mother at the adoption centre once a year. That is how I found out that she is a happy child who laughs a lot. I have written down my story for her in case one day she wants to find out where she comes from.